My Tales as a Single Mom...

Wynonna turned 5!!!

2011-08-14T09:35:00.001-07:00

Last August 11, my little one just turned 5 years old. In my head, I can still remember the day she was born and how I felt the first time I touched her... It was not so long ago...

Today, we had a birthday party for her and we invited her cousins, my officemates' kids, her classmates and her friends. It was really fun watching kids play. At the end of the day I asked her if she was happy and she said she was... which made the party, "Successful" for me.. It is all that matters...

Because I am what you already know, A single mom, parents and guests asked me where her dad is. Can't really blame them for this is a normal question, people really ask... Her dad is... hmmmm.. I don't know.. Haven't heard from him for last couple of years or so. The exact date and time, completely escaped my memory.

After the party, we immediately headed to the mall. She loves the mall. In fact, she does not want to go to the province anymore, and one of the main reasons is because there is no mall in Bataan.

Because I am weird and because I was sentimental, when people are happy, is when I start to think about a lot of things.. What will happen to me and my little one in the future? The question is still a question that will be answered the soonest possible time...

There are decisions that need to be made and once I make them, they will no longer be subject to change and perhaps, that decision can change our lives... forever...

Fun Ranch Visit

2011-01-07T22:12:00.000-08:00

Fun Ranch Visit

2011-01-07T22:03:00.000-08:00

Fun Ranch Visit

2011-01-07T20:44:00.000-08:00

I took Yve to Fun Ranch Kids Center at Pasig City. She enjoyed the whole day here and ended up going to sleep on the ride going home =)

Yvonne's Xmas Party at School 2010

2011-01-07T20:37:00.000-08:00

This is Yvonne's first year at school and her first time to have a school xmas party. I took some shots while they were playing around =)

Yvonne at Tagaytay 2

2011-01-07T20:07:00.000-08:00

More pictures from the Tagaytay stay.

Yvonne at Tagaytay Herrera Residence

2011-01-07T19:50:00.000-08:00

Last December 2010, I brought Yvonne to STILTS and we stopped over for an overnight stay at the Herrera Residence in Tagaytay City. She loved it!

E2 (E Squared)

2010-08-16T06:56:00.001-07:00

Today was the first day for the English Course I enrolled for. As everyone expected, I was late (10 minutes late) and hopefully not tomorrow. The program started at 8:00 am exactly. It was a good thing that the first part was to write an essay answering the question, "What motivates you?" This was at my advantage since writing is one of my passions.

After I was done with my essay and was about to go to the bathroom, the teacher aka English specialist came inside the classroom so I wasn't able to go out. His name was Chris, not the first Chris I've met, in fact I cannot remember how many are those people with the name Chris that I know of.

There were a total of ten attendees for today's session although the total number of students who enrolled for this program is twenty. We were seated in a "U" Shaped Conference table, facing the white board.

The first part of the program was the specialist talking in front of us. He started by introducing himself, sharing some information on how he started, about some of his experiences living in the United States and how at a certain point in his life he decided to go back to the Philippines. His reason for going back to his homeland, "The Filipino people needs me more than Americans do". He used to teach English Grammar and usage to Americans and he was saying he used to spend roughly USD40,000 a year for gambling, parties aside from the necessities.

Filipinos do not really have to go away. The problem in the Philippines is the uneven distribution of wealth. The rich becomes richer and the poor becomes poorer and there is no enough middle class to have a voice. No enough voice means not having enough influence to make a change. Of course I wanted to add up to what he was saying when he started to talk about politics, which apparently, is also one of my lines of interest. He was a Political Science Graduate so I will expect him to talk more about political issues and the government in future meetings.

The next part of the program was for each and everyone of us to introduce ourselves and answer the question, "What drives you wild?". I took this question as a rather funny question because the first thing that entered my mind when he mentioned it was something I know one should not be talking about in front of 10 strangers so I dumped the idea of saying what was on my mind at the time. He listed our names on the white board as we spoke one by one. It is good that I can came up with what to say fast although the ideas may be a little bit scrambled for I needed more time to organize my thoughts but glad I got done saying some of the things that drives me wild (1. Deadlines 2. Shopping 3. Yves crazy questions). The fourth thing, I chose not to mention.

When one of the students was talking, he mentioned the word "diction". He said he enrolled for that course to improve his diction. So the specialist asked him what he meant when he said diction. Most Filipinos have just one meaning for diction-pronunciation of words. For Americans, the word diction means "choice of words". So if an American says your diction is perfect, he is saying you were able to choose the right word for whatever that you wanted to express. The specialist explained that globally, the meaning of diction is a the right pronunciation and the right choice of words. So ALAS, some thing new I learned today!

The last part of the program was quite funny not because the activity was funny but because some speakers were funny. We were asked one by one to stand in front of the class, each one had a topic, which the specialist announced as soon as we stood up in front. We were given 10 seconds to prepare for a 3 minute presentation about the topic. The topics were:

1. Balloons

The speaker just merely talked about what is needed to make a balloon, she said you need a.) rubber b.) helium c.) passion. I'd rather not give comment on what she said. It was alright, I guess.

2. Snake

The speaker was mostly saying she is scared of snakes. There were some jokes but not so funny. She was a 60-year old woman named Naomi.

3. Death

Speaker talking about how scary death is and that it is needed to balance life.

4. Kiss

She was saying a kiss is a sign of showing people you love them, and people that go away kiss loved ones to let them know they are coming back and a kiss means welcome back when they get to go home.

5. First come, first serve (my topic)

We often hear this phrase when there are events that accepts only a certain number of people, like seminars, conferences, programs. This is oftentimes used when there are limited number of seats on a venue that a certain even will use. I cited my experiences about this phrase when I was reviewing for the CPA Board examination.

During my one year in review, which is equivalent to two terms, this was a phrase the school would always use, specially during solutions giving. There were limited seats (200 seats) for Room 1, where you can see the professor live in front of the class while he discussed the solutions and all the others will either be in Rooms 2 and 3, looking at him at a Projector Screen or at the lobby just listening to him talk through speakers on the lobby. Knowing how I am, I would always come later than 7 am (the usual start of the classes). On my first term, I did not have friends. I was a loner and so every time there is a solutions giving and I come in late, as usual, there is no other choice but to enter Rooms 2 & 3. That was when I thought the policy "first come, first serve" should be followed strictly.

On my second term, I made a lot of friends and I later on found out that having friends could be useful in many ways, especially during solutions giving. My friends would come in at 6 o'clock in the morning and reserve a seat for me. So even if I arrive at 7:30 am, and the room is full, I would always have a seat.

I ended up saying, "If you are going to an event and the policy is first come, first serve, make sure you come in early to be assured that you will be accommodated OR the easier way... make friends... or bring friends to that event that are known for their punctuality, after all, First Come First Serve can always be replaced by First Reserve-First Serve...

They laughed at that.. haha..

6. Life is not short

This was a very interesting topic and I wish this was given to mine. The speaker was so funny that he did not know what to say. I think he did not know what he was saying... Very funny but of course I did not laugh at him.

7. Why should a square be called a circle

Funnier because he talked about why he enrolled in C2 and did not answer the question. Haha.

The others were not given a chance to speak because we did not have enough time so we will just continue tomorrow.

We will see what will happen tomorrow.

The program looks like fun =)

Questions

2010-08-12T16:23:00.000-07:00

Just got back in Manila as I am writing this. Went home for a couple of days at my parents house to celebrate my little Yvonne's 4th Birthday.

Making sure every little time we spend together is a quality time, I keep asking myself, "Is what I am doing enough to be a good mom?".. I have been almost all the time away from her in the past years because of work but still glad she still knows I'm her only mom and loves me.

Her birthday was a simple celebration, brought the food to her school, along with the cake and balloons and the kids surely enjoyed them. Children find fondness and happiness in the the simplest things... like a balloon, and a cone of ice cream, makes me wish I was a kid again. As you grow older, you find it hard to find true happiness, when all the while, the simple things are there.. waiting to be appreciated.

I asked Yve if she wanted to see her dad for her birthday but she said "No!" so I never asked again. Maybe she didn't really want to see him. He did not bother to call her to greet a happy birthday so I guess I shouldn't care anymore.

Its funny that their topic for yesterday's story telling was family... I was there outside the school observing how Yve is behaving at school. She was doing great at school except that she kept looking at me to check if I was still there. I came to realize, yes,my daughter needs me beside her...

Found out my sister never bothers to teach her anything, no one in the family does. If I was at home, I would teach her some stuff she would also learn at school and tell her learning is fun... like I do every time we are together. The feeling sucks knowing that I am not there everyday to do this...

Our mom-and-baby conversation would always include her asking questions like, "Mommy, why do you always leave me?", "Mommy, do you really need to go to work?", "Mommy, can you please not leave tomorrow?", "Mommy, who is your husband?", "Mommy, am I going with you to Manila?", "Mommy, do you love my daddy?", "Mommy, am I your baby?", "Mommy, do you love me, why do you leave me?"....

Simple questions from a little girl but I'll tell you what, these questions haunt me... and I ask myself too...

Things will get better for me and her and someday we will be together, not for 4 days within a month but every day...

I love you baby.. Mommy loves you no matter what...

Farewell to an Idol

2010-08-08T07:52:00.000-07:00

Today we bid farewell to our best litigator in the firm, Atty.
Ardjie Laurel. May he rest in peace with the Almighty. He was a man of integrity, a good lawyer, a good friend, a good son. Through the good words spoken about him.. one would know how good person he was....

Through my years with the firm and the fact that I used to consider pursuing a law career, I believe there are very very few lawyers left nowadays who are true advocates of justice, and he was one of them. It is very sad to lose someone like him, someone whom you knew you could have learned a lot of things... someone who never stops learning... The firm will never be as strong as it was without him...

Sitting on a mass for him seeing his sister and mother crying is really saddening, and heart felt. Though I know we didn't have so much chit chat when he was still alive, I idolized him quietly...still does and always will always look up to him. All the hard work, staying at the office late, I've witnessed it. He would come to me and ask me to cut the straws tying the new Supreme Court Reports. He would always read those books as soon as they arrive.

Atty. Che, one of the partners of the firm was saying earlier that he was generous... which is very true... who else would go to each non-legal's desk to give you a doughnut, a chocolate, a candy... that is just him and only him. We will miss that. When all the partners were out of the office one time, he asked who were the other lawyers at the office, and he found out that he was the most senior, he would joke around saying we should all go home. He literally jumped up and down when my boss was not around at one time because boss does not allow any noise when he is sleeping... He was a very kind and humble person. He used to dress up simply, never extravagant.

He would always call up for Bambi at the kitchen when I used to eat with the other girls before. Of course I don't do this anymore because my time for work starts at noon time now. The very very long pleadings..... who would forget those....

We will never forget you Sir Arj... Though we were not very close, because we never had a chance to be, I want to say I salute you for being a very brilliant lawyer and for being a good person! The overwhelming love of those who came at your interment today was very touching... It touched me deep... In many ways, and most of all, made me believe that there is still hope for those who believe in INTEGRITY... Goodbye Sir! We will all miss you...

What is on my mind today?

2010-06-21T10:07:00.000-07:00

"With great power comes great responsibility" - Spiderman

My daughter- she is everything and i love her with all of my heart...

My family- would never trade them with anybody... the only ones who can read me like a book..

Cole - guy i hope I will marry someday, in God's time...

Power-What does power really mean? Why do people get so greedy about it and they would literally do anything to have it. When one has the power, does he have the right to do everything he pleases, notwithstanding the consequences? I know he can make the wrong look right, but does this person has a moral obligation to do the right thing?

Sales-I just got home from a week of observation of Stilts. Indeed a long weekend but I believe all the hard work is well worth it. The off peak season has started and sales will substantially decrease for the next 5 months or so... so we gotta do something to have sales this rainy season.

Magic-The ambience of Stilts Calatagan invites a restless soul to join its peacefulness, its as if saying,,, "Don't stress out, stay with me". The place is magical, a perfect resting place for anyone. Words cannot explain how calm the atmosphere is, especially at nights when you sit in your havoc in your veranda and look around, seeing the houses perched over water, with lights reflecting on the water along with the flags.. I am at a lost for words... Last week I was thinking of something to say for our next summer's brochures but cannot find the right things to say.

Meeting with the staff went out alright, I hope. They all seemed nice at that day. Hopefully they understood what I was trying to explain.

Jeff-Jeffrey was cool that day, hopefully he remains cool for the next days since he has all been stressed out for the last summer... The man deserves a break....I can never do what he does and for that, I cannot manage the resort alone the way he does...

TAx payments-i hate deadlines... had to finish all supports and file them within just three hours.. that was crazy!

Bosses-I am so blessed with one of the best bosses in the country, bosses who would give support like he does are very very rare, for that I can call myself lucky.

Wife of the boss- She is a walking masterpiece, she got small eyes, pretty face and a perfect vision at everything...

My condo unit- how long will I be here? Will I die inside this building if a 7.2 magnitude ever hit Metro Manila?

HTC- how long will I stay there? they are like my second family...

Marriage & Sex- I dream of the perfect person and setting...

Shopping- helps me release stress...

New freezer- hope Junjun picks it up early in the morning.

Cash report- have to get it ready by Wednesday.. i have to...

Sleep- I NEED IT SO BAD!!!

gOODNIGHT... i will just add up some more later....

The Kingsleys

2010-06-06T09:06:00.000-07:00

Me and my Yvonne

2010-06-04T21:18:00.000-07:00

Some more of Yvonne

2010-06-04T21:03:00.000-07:00

Moments with my Little One

2010-06-04T20:52:00.000-07:00

My Yvonne at home

2010-06-04T20:44:00.000-07:00

First Audit of STILTS Calatagan

2010-06-04T20:38:00.000-07:00

Yve will be in Preparatory School

2010-05-19T15:34:00.000-07:00

Last Monday, I brought Yve for an interview in a Preparatory School. I was nervous that she won't be able to answer questions but its really surprising how smart my little one is... She answered all the questions, although some answers are wrong, they all made sense...

Here are some of the funny parts of her interview:
Teacher: Yvonne, what do you see
Yve: Thats a pig
Teacher: What is unique about this pig?
Yve: It is an angel because it has wings

I never knew she would think of everything with wings as angels but it's cute.

Teacher showed a drawing of a duck broken into three, a puzzle for kids to solve. Note that the duck is not colored and the drawing suck, haha..:

Teacher: What do you see Yvonne?
Yvonne: Thats a chick
Teacher: AAh, Yvonne, can you bring the part of the chicken together?

Yve tried to solve it and when she was done, showed it to the teacher but she was wrong about where to put the tail.

Teacher showed a bunch of different pairs of drawings mixed up together and asked Yve to bring together all those that are the same and she was able to bring every pair together but when teacher asked:

Teacher: Yvonne, why did you put these things together?
Yvonne: Because I want to

A not so good answer but I know she knew those things are the same, was just not in a good mood to answer promptly.

A conversation about using the toilet:

Teacher: Yvonne, when you poop, who washes your ass?
Yvonne: Mommy!
Teacher: But in school, mommy will not be around so you have to wash yourself
Yvonne: I don't like! Disgusting, ewwww!

About pets:
Teacher: Do you have pets?
Yve: Yes
Teacher: What kind of pets?
Yve: Big blacky and little blacky
Teacher: And what are these?
Yve: CAts

Trip to our house:

Teacher: If We go to your house Yvonne, will you let us in?
Yve: Yes
Teacher: What are we going to see? In the living room?
Yve: Toys!
Teacher: What else?
Yve: You will see my grandfa
Teacher: If i go to your room, what will I see?
Yve: Toys!
Teacher: What else?
Yve: Clothes
Teacher: Where are the clothes kept?
Yve: In the durabox
Teacher: If I go to your kitchen, I will see a table, can I sleep there?
Yve: No, table is used to eat
TEacher: What else will I see
Yve: A refrigerator, and a gas range to cook

When asked about the family:
Teacher: What's the name of your mom?
Yve: Sol
Teacher: Where is your daddy?
Yve: Work
(She is talking about my sister's bf, Mark because she calls him "Daddy Mark"
Teacher: Do you have a grandma?
YVe: Yes
Teacher: Do you have a grandfa?
Yve: Yes
Teacher: Do you have a bigger sister?
Yve: Yes, she is at work
(She is talking about her nanny since she calls her "ate".
Teacher: If lola is matanda, then Yvonne is....
Yve: Maganda! (We all laughed when she said this. haha)

There are some parts of the interview that I do not remember but to sum up the result was fine and she had a check on everything and the teacher said she is a smart kid but showing signs of being a spoiled brat on the way she speaks.

I'm excited about her being in school. I just need to buy her stuff for school when they give me the list of things to be bought.

Time flies so fast, she will be 4 years old in August 11, 2010 and I will be 27 on November 13, 2010.

I love her so much and I miss her whenever I'm here in Manila working.... Hope she is alright and being well taken care of at my parents' house...

National Elections 2010

2010-05-06T07:53:00.000-07:00

And so it is two days before the National Elections and thought I can write a blog of what I think about all this... trial for the automated elections. Last night I was watching the news and the palace is suggesting we postpone the elections due to the PCOS machine malfunctions..

I was reading this very interesting mail from Atty. Ted Laguatan of laguatanlaw and so I will quote him here before my opinions:

"Re: Inquirer.net Sunday April 25 "Manual parallel count unnecessary-Comelec".. This is my take note on this: GMA and FG dont care a bit whether or not Filipinos or the world perceive these elections as honest or not. So far, they have gotten away with everything so they think they can do anything and get away with it. They were even able to fool the public into thinking that the contract Comelec entered into was with the Venezuelan connected Dutch incorporated foreign corporation Smartmatic. Its not. Its with a Philippine registered corporation called Smartmatic Sahi Technology Inc incorporated only in March 23, 2008 where the primary shareholder is Cezar Quiambao and his family- a golfing buddy of the First Gentleman-who gets huge computer and infrastructure contracts from government and also involved with scandalous Radstock case. The Chairman of the Board of Directors of the Philippine base Smartmatic Sahi is Juan Villa JR. Sahi teamed up with a local company called TIM registed in 1991 in the Philippines-engaged in the manufacture of doors and windows. They were known as Total Interiors Manufacturing. They amended their articles of Incorporation in December 2008 to now include telecommunications as part of their business. They now want TIM to be understood as Total Information Management. Check the approval of the Comelec Smartmatic Tim contract in the internet which I discovered under the name of "Juan Villa Jr.". The approval is addressed to Juan Villa Jr., Chairman of Smartmatic Sahi and not the foreign Smartmatic company. Even the media was fooled as they referred to Smartmatic as a foreign company. The announcements and press releases issued by Comelec and Smartmatic indicated that it was the foreign Smartmatic that was involved. This tactic misdirected the public from suspicions that the bidding was rigged in favor of individuals most likely acting as fronts for the Arroyos. Google words Cezar Quiambao, Juan Villa Jr., Smartmatic Sahi, Smartmatic Sahi TIM, Patrick Mangubat Smartmatic TIM. You will also be shocked to learn that Smartmatic Sahi was involved in the Maguindanao elections in 2008 even before it was incorporated. They also made it appear that the Venezulan company was the one involved with Comelec by putting the names of some of the officers of the foreign company in their papers like Cesar Flores and Armado R. Yanes. GMA and FG and their co-cospirators like Ronnie Puno et al know and maybe planned it as such that the effect of a non-credible election is that Noynoy supporters will not accept the results if Noynoy loses. This will result in mass demonstrations and some skirmishes between the police and demonstrators causing some individuals to be killed or hurt. Then some bombs are mysteriously exploded blaming unknown parties or even the communists. From there, they will make other moves. At this point, they feel they can do anything with impunity as they own all the levers of power: The Comelec, the most important military commands, the Supreme Court, the Department of Justice. The blatant shameless exercise of raw power such as releasing the Ampatuans, appointing her manicurist and gardener to important positions-not allowing parallel manual counts aside from their other excesses all reflect their power instigated insanity that will bring the nation to the brink of disaster. All Filipinos acting in good faith and concern for all must be encouraged to take activist positions again these plunderers and oppressors."

I am not a Noynoy fan nor a Manny Villar fan though I know one of them will win or wait, I know Noynoy will win, if he will not be cheated. Manny Villar can stop poverty the way he promises and advertises on tv. Not because you were born poor does not make you the best candidate nor being part of the circle of the elite exempts you from being qualified as a good candidate. Watching national forums have made me study candidates more and not because I have been sitting in front of my computer all day doing my accounting/managerial job does not preclude me from being politically aware.

So Noynoy Aquino is running for presidency. Swearing on national tv that he will not be corrupt... yes, he can keep his promise.. but can he control the circle he belongs to? Can he promise that they won't be corrupt? Ofcourse not, the late President Cory Aquino herself was not able to stop corruption nor the good old leaders, neither can he. How can he say no to the many friends of his mom, how can he go out and stand for what is right when the circle reminds him that this should be done. Always be reminded that he will not run in the presidency if not for the vast Filipino crowd who showed their grievances and sympathy with the Aquino Family for the death of Cory.

We need a self-made man who can do something, who will not be told what to do, one who can stand on his own feet.. who can stand for his own beliefs.. One who knows what he is doing.

Ofcourse Noynoy will win but Filipinos, be ready... we will see no change... The oligarchy will remain and who knows how and when it will end... Be ready to face the pitfalls of our own decisions and only us can save ourselves...

2010-03-13T10:38:00.000-08:00

Random thoughts meet Paranoia

2010-03-13T09:13:00.001-08:00

Three gun shots i just heard now and its 1:19 am here now at my parents house. They usually go to bed around 9 pm when I am not around here but go to bed much later at 11 pm when I am here... I call myself a night person, I have lived in Manila for almost 6 years and rarely come home here, just on special occassions before I had Yvonne.

When I gave birth to Yvonne, I had to leave her at 1 1/2 months old here at my parents so I can work in Manila. My job in Makati requires long hours of work and I know for a fact I cannot take care of her while working at the same time. I have been a single mother for over three years now... I try to earn a living for myself, and my baby and trying to save some bread for her future and try to help my parents as well. Hoping I can make them experience the joys of life, even not as rich people but at least get more than enough. Would take them out of town or out of the country even for a nice vacation where they can just sit there and relax while I handle everything for them. My only sister is a licensed nurse, hopefully she gets a nice job as a staff nurse as she wanted and stop from being a voluntary worker at the health center, earning nothing. Things are not so easy living in the province, not so much hospitals here where she can be exposed for work plus the "who do you know" deal is just unbearable...

Had to endure a lot by working and going to school for the past year to get a CPA license to become a professional with the hope that it will help me become more dignified and would give me more chances of being stable financially. As I write this, I have been a licensed CPA for 5 months...

I just had to go back at that but not the reason why I am writing... Hearing a neighbor crying now... I cannot hear so clearly. The silence of the night makes me go crazy. I am so used to the city, I like hearing the vehicles pass by, the sound of the karaoke machine on my ear, the sound of people talking next door. It gives me a feeling of peace...

After my traumatic experience with Noel, my ex, after he nearly killed me, I have been strange... We in the family have had traumas too, some murders of my family members I cannot forget. A member of a family being jailed for murder as well. Some things I can never get out of my head. A sound of a gun shot terrifies me... always have, more than anything now. Always hear the sound of that bullet that hit the floor that almost hit my feet when Noel told me he would kill me that day, some 6 years ago... The feeling has never changed, I still have it, it was never gone...

1:46 am now, something is wrong with me. Have always felt it whenever I am here and everybody else is sleeping. I feel like I have to be up to make sure they are safe, to make sure all the doors are locked, to make sure no one ever comes around... A single noise, a single foot step from outside will make me stand on my feet and look outside. Our yard is a bit big to see who/what is coming.

Got issues trusting people, I feel like I can never trust my life to anybody and always have the feeling that I always have to defend myself and the people I love. Cannot trust my life entirely to a bus driver so I cannot sleep on a trip, have to stay up and be alert in case something bad happens although I pray hard nothing ever will...

I guess I won't be able to sleep tonight and just wait till my mom or my dad will be up around 5 or 6. They usually wake up earlier than everybody since they sleep the earliest, esp my dad. Being a night person, when I am in Manila, I normally leave work at 11-11:30 pm and if lucky, I get home around 10 pm. My boss leaves work at 10:30 pm and we are not allowed to leave the office whenever he is still there.. At least he has his 4 drivers/bodyguards around but I gotta go home alone and I live alone. I wonder if it has ever crossed his mind how dangerous it is to be going home that late.

My bedtime, the earliest is 1 am, the latest 3 am and my normal waking up time is 9 am. I go to work before 11, my call time. Lately though I have been going to work at noon. I just hate coming there so early and leaving so late. I would not wanna mention how much they pay me monthly,, despite all the extended time I have been working. Most of the time, I feel my hard work is not worth it...

They say when you are happy with what you do, just go ahead and do it. But when you start to feel unhappy, change the situation and move on... I have been thinking about that more often lately.

Whenever I meet a new person, I always try to be nice. But for a person believing trust needs to be earned, trusting them has always been an issue for me. That attitude, I have had since I was little. Example, a friend of my mom comes over at the house to just visit. I would never leave my mom's side, observing what the visitor does, watching his every movement trying to see if he does something stupid that I would dislike and if he does, he will not be happy in his stay in our house. My mom would always tell me I have had this stare that looks like I would kill... "if only looks could kill"... In fairness to me, I do not know why she thinks that just because of how I stare when I am mad and I know how sweet my eyes can look when I am happy... I'll admit they are just the extreme of both love and hate, depending on what I am feeling.

Transparency... I have always been true to myself and to my feelings though there are times I would prefer to shut up even if there are a lot of thought running inside my head. For the record, I opt to do that sometimes because I believe it is the right thing to do in that circumstance...

I guess I have just been a little bit crazy tonight... the sound of silence is killing me, I am used to hearing the vehicles pass by, hearing the sound of the karaoke, the sound of girls chuckling and talking next door. Silence is making me deaf... It is driving me crazy....

I Love staying at home so I can be with my baby and the rest of the family... I just hate night time and everyone is asleep and I am still up....

Hopefully I can help myself somehow and overcome these kind of feelings... I know I am insomniac though I barely drink coffee... Hopefully its just in my head and I can clear my head soon so I can be alright....

Have lost my sense of security after becoming a single mom,,, it is still a struggle I am fighting until now... God, please help me...

Advoc Gala Outfit

2010-03-11T06:33:00.000-08:00

I have called this a day and most of my time I have spent sending proposals to clients of Stilts Calatagan Beach Resort. Should get used to sending quotes and proposal as it has been part of my daily routine.

Advoc Asia's general meeting will be held here in the Philippines and will be hosted by our office It was just last week when I was asked to join the support team that will make this event successful. Per count, 27 delegates from different countries are confirmed coming to attend it.

Gala night will be held in National Museum's Sycip-Herrera hall next Saturday, 20th day of March 2010. The dress code for girls will be long dress/night gown. Ofcourse I would not want to be overdressed for the night so I asked my colleagues ate Myra and Cristy to help me pick a dress today. I tried on different dresses at The Landmark to see any dress that would look alright on me and would fit well also.

There was this one particular dress that the mannequin was wearing that really caught my eye, it was maroon and the design was very articulate and fashionable and I thought it would look good on me and when I tried to fit it, I was like "whoa!"... It was perfect, aside from one single flaw... the size was larger than my size... The smallest size for dresses in "June" is medium size and my size is just small, well actually, its an extra small, because when I tried a small black gown, it was still a little bit larger than my size.... Really wanted to have that maroon dress but unfortunately, I would have to go to Quezon City to have the dress altered for my size and that is far from here in Makati plus the busy schedule simply would not let me go there and so I have decided to let go of the dress....

Had to look for another dress to replace my first choice and so I was looking at Coutura and found this one dark brown dress hanging and have just gotta try it on. Also asked the sales person to hand me a black color of that dress. First try for the black one frustrated me as it was still larger than my size, being it small.. although I liked its design. Had to try the brown thereafter and "whoa" the fit is just perfect, I have to get it....

Alright so I had to have straps sewn on my dress as I wanted to feel more comfortable wearing it. As it is not so comfortable wearing tube dresses especially with a breast size like mine (not so blessed, as they say), would not elaborate as far, but my being skinny justifies it...

Left it for a while to look for matching shoes and bag, had to find some bronze shoes and bronze bag with crystal beads to match the accent of my dress. I went around to try on different shoes and found the perfect one. After getting the shoes, luckily, I found the perfect bag from Crisan. I was still thinking if I was gonna get it because it was a little bit too small for all my stuff and that bag could just fit in my cellphone and some card and thats it... I forgot I had two phones, so may have to leave one behind if that is the case. Going forward, I paid everything in cash and ended up spending roughly around US$150 for this outfit...

Still in search for the perfect earring to match these and the perfect artist to do my hair and make up and hopefully everything will be settled, the latest next week....

I am a bit excited, not for the gala but for the pictures I will have before, during and after this event. Looking forward to meeting nice people as well. Will have to post pictures after the event.

That is it for now.. Over and out....

Thank you God for a wonderful day! Hopefully my sweet baby girl and my family are sleeping soundly and safe. I will see them tomorrow in Bataan.

Sad News Today

2010-03-10T08:17:00.000-08:00

When I arrived today at the office, the first question my bestfriend Julie asked me was, "have you heard about the news about what happened in bataan today?".. I said, "no, what is it?" Immediately after, she has told me all about it and told me ate Armi has died and my other friend Bem is at the hospital, critical...

This news was really tragic and right now Arby is still texting me saying Bem is at St. Joseph and about to be sent to the Operating room. He is there at the hospital seeing to it that she is alright, alongside her mom.

I hope and pray she gets well and survive this accident.. there must be a reason why she did not end up dead, all the other 7 who was with her died on the spot...

It is 12:47 am now and Arby is still talking to me through text messages. I am starting to be tired though, I need sleep to be ready for work again tomorrow.

Please God take care of Bem and help her survive...

Stilts Calatagan Beach Resort

2010-03-09T21:08:00.000-08:00

When I first saw the pictures of the previously known Rosegold Beach Resort during meetings with our lawyer, many years ago, I was amazed of the view.August last year, while I was in the middle of my review for my CPA board examination when they were able to take over the resort. Jeffrey had to be in charge for refurbishing the looks of the resort during that time. Apparently, the Assignees who were operating the resort for 3 years, did not even mind to improve the facilities that needs improvement.

November 1st of last year, 2 weeks after passing my exam, we had a management committee meeting at the resort and I finally had the chance of seeing and staying at the resort. The work done headed by Jeffrey, our assigned "Resort Manager" has been very visible because of the evident improvement in the resort. This was also the day they decided to name it "STILTS", the name was suggested by Miguel. The resort has suffered a little on that day due to heavy rains on the previous day but still looked as magical as I have imagined it will be. We just stayed there for a night and travelled back to Manila the next day to be ready for work at the office.

January this year when boss decided to open the resort for operations and to the public and I was asked to handle Finance and apparently, to hold Reservations as well, and the Website Development as well. The resort has been in operation for almost three months now and is gaining more popularity everyday, as evidenced by advertising offers, client queries and reservations.

Working for STILTS has been teaching me a lot of stuff. From buying the kitchen supplies, to buying the Appliances needed for the kitchen, negotiating with suppliers, talking with Sales Agents, talking to Web Developers/Programmers, Web hosting, business permits, legal requirements for an operating corporation, BIR compliances, application for online payments, application for credit card facilities and POS units, haggling rates for Merchant Discount Rates, PO preparations, costing reports down to "Financial Statements", my expertise.

Everyday is a journey and everyday, I learn and that makes it fun. Although there will be times when a client call wakes me up in mornings and there are times when I sit in my desk and I have to multi-task (answer telephone calls from clients while I do my report on my computer). The calls just never end. It is either I get a client call or Jeffrey calls me because he needs this and that, we need to do this and that.

STILTS has really been a combination of fun and work for me and I am enjoying it so far. Seeing the website at www.stiltscalataganbeachresort.com, which I have been part in development makes me proud and happy. Credits should go to our web developers Mark, Don and Errah though. Cheers for a wonderful job done!!! There were some arguments between me and Don but glad everything was patched up before they get any worse. These arguments taught me to lower my pride sometimes. Thanks to Don for that. We are still on the process of application for the online reservation system and hopefully we get approved soon. =)

Everyday is a busy day for me nowadays mostly because of all the work for this resort and hopefully everything goes well for it.

Here is a brief description of the resort:

STILTS Calatagan Beach Resort (formerly Rosegold Beach Resort & Hotel) is set amidst twenty four (24) hectares of rolling hills and white sand beaches, near Cape Santiago and Palo Bandera Point. Inspired by the pre-colonial era when natives used to construct their houses on stilts above the waters of Balayan Bay, STILTS’ unique attractions are its eight (8) cottages perched on stilts over the water. Overlooking the South China Sea, each cottage has a private veranda where you can enjoy gentle breezes and picture perfect views of the sea and the aquamarine seabed. For those who can’t wait to get into the water, each cottage also has its own wooden stairs leading straight down to the sea.

With long stretches of white sand on both sides of the resort, there is a wide array of activities to choose from – swimming, beach volleyball, jet skiing, snorkeling, fishing or simply sitting back, relaxing and soaking up the sun’s rays. The resort will soon offer scuba diving lessons for interested guests.

STILTS also has its very own multi-purpose pavilion/restaurant, adult and kid swimming pools and function room. These facilities are ideal for family reunions, bonding time with friends and corporate events.

Whether you come to STILTS for family and barkada bonding time, a corporate seminar, team building activity, a day tour trip or a little romance, your stay at STILTS will be a truly memorable one.

MISCARRIAGE IN THE FAMILY

2008-04-28T23:44:00.000-07:00

April 29, 2008
Tuesday
3:00 pm

Its Tuesday, i just got back from the hospital, my younger sister who is 21 yo had a miscarriage,i've been up for the last 36 hours an im still here awake, we found it out last Sunday, i was at my office, while using that extra time to do my files, i received a phone call from one of my sister's friends that she is bleeding. I cant even say what i felt when i heard that, i just knew i hurried up, got a cab and went straight to the hospital where she was brought. The blood, was like omg, it was all over her pants down to her knees. I saw her crying and it strucked me and i really felt sad and had this blank expression on my face. She was 10 weeks pregnant and she did not tell the family right away that she was, she hid it from us and now when we found out, its too late. Her baby is dead and the doctors cant find out yet whats the cause of its death. We will find out once the tests are gone. Its just so "sayang". I thought for once, I am already going to be an aunt. I am already a mom with a baby girl who is turning 2 this August 11, and sure am excited to have a nephew/niece.

What did this have to happen? I saw my sister crying for two nights already asking herself too why we lost our little angel. I know that it hurts her, but I know that God will not put you in any situation wherein He knows you cannot survive, he puts you there for a reason, and for whatever reason he puts you in there, only He knows what it is and what he wants us to do about it. Maybe because they are not yet ready to have her/him yet. She is reviewing for the Nursing Board examination for June, i think stress did count why she lost it. She has been under much stress, pushing herself to her limits to review to make sure she passes the board and be a licensed nurse, even under that situation, of being a pregnant. She feels the need to make up with the family to make us proud of her, even if she is pregnant,she can still make it to the licensure examination. But i guess its not the way God planned it. This means that He has other plans for her than being a mom at 22, its going to be her 22nd Birthday on MAy 5, 2008, and i dont know how to make her or do anything to make her feel ok after she lost a baby, before she even had him/her.

I love my sister and I hope everything will turn out ok with her, and I hope the procedure at the hospital she will get through it safely and without harm with her.

I love my little niece/nephew and i will never ever forget that on April 27, 2008, we lost a little "Angel" and I know that he/she is safe with the Father above and he/she is watching over her/his mom who is in the hospital now.

Im hoping for the best for my family and will do everything to help out when i can everytime.